tonight and tomorrow night I’ll be finishing up my cycling for this month, which will put me at 300 miles for the month. If I keep that up all year long, I’ll do a total of 3600.

3600 (2009) + 2400 (2008) + 1000 (2007) = 7000

so, that’s my new goal.

1. I have lots of trouble with anxiety
2. I always wanted a radio controlled dune buggy (like the Tamiya Grasshopper), but never got one
3. I’ve always been old before my time
4. People think I’m negative and it makes me want to (insert expletive-filled sentence here.)
5. I rather would like to walk away from it all
6. I think about sex every 3 seconds (who the hell doesn’t?)
7. I thought about sex again. (sorry)
8. I used to be obsessed with Gertrude Stein
9. then for a while it was Samuel Beckett
10. bookstores comfort me, books soothe me. I like to scour the shelves and read every title, trance-like.
11. I only kissed one girl in high school
12. I like making things
13. I should have studied art in college, from the beginning (damnit)
14. in my career, I am completely self-taught
15. and yet I have very low self esteem
16. I’m a bundle of wires and prickles
17. I have chronic sinus problems
18. I also have 12 white chests hairs, 77 white beard hairs, countless in my head and few steely pubes
19. I’m okay with it
20. People never know when I’m joking or being serious
21. I miss you
22. sometimes I think I’m a woman trapped in an ape’s body, but my wife assures me I’m wrong on this matter
23. I know that we, as humans, are not in control… and I don’t care
24. I could sleep 12 hours a day
25. I wish that Kate Beckinsale would show up at my door and ask for a cup of tea. Then, a day later, if Nicole Kidman would drop by, that would be really keen.

right now I’m working in Flash, learning ActionScript 3 and the ins and outs of Object Oriented Programming. my brain is on fire with excitement.

It’s not the technology per se that I think is what I’m supposed to be focusing on or deriving pleasure from exploring, but the mere act of learning.

That is what is supposed to be my core activity in life. Learning.

I think “they” call that and epiphany.

react, people. react.